Thank You For THE Gift

Gifts are at the centre of the celebrations around this time of the year. Here are some ideas on what to get for your loved ones this Christmas.

---

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Mother of Abundance. The place where ambitious, caring mothers find information on how to live your best life. So whether you’re a motorist who’s growing a business, climbing the corporate ladder, studying for a qualification or an at home mother, while striving to be the best you can be, you’re in the right place. I’m your host, Xina Gooding Broderick.

“Thank you for the best gift ever this holiday. I wanted a new phone, but you gave me the best gift I could ever have asked for; spending the whole two-week holiday with me. Thank you so much.”

Wouldn’t those be the best words to come from your loved one in this season? This season, gifts are somewhat at the center of the celebrations. And stores are the busiest at this time of the year, with people trying to buy last minute gifts for their loved ones. And since we don’t know the best gift, we get a new toy or gadget for our loved one. But a new toy doesn’t have to be the go-to gift every single year. In this podcast, Season 2 Episode 10, we will give you some examples of the other gifts you could invest in, for your loved ones during this festive season.

And just to take you a little bit back into the history of gift giving at this time of year, in Ancient Rome, gift giving might have occurred near the Winter Solstice in December, which is celebrated during the Saturnalia holiday. Gift giving in general is an ancient tradition that came to be associated with the Christian feast of Christmas. To Christians, the gifts given at Christmas are symbolic of the tributes made to the baby Jesus by the Three Wise Men of the Magi, after his birth, during the story of the Nativity.

I was raised in a Christian household. I’m not a practicing Christian. We would go to church sometimes. My middle school was a church school. We were well versed in the Bible. And so we knew the history and the background to the Christmas story. In our household it was more about being together. But as kids we loved the presents. We really, really looked forward to the toys. But you know, I come from very humble beginnings. So, having lots and lots of presents, yeah, that wasn’t really going to happen. Or if it was going to happen, my mother certainly wasn’t going to attribute her hard earned money being spent on, for gifts for us, she wasn’t going to attribute that to Santa. No. It was the family members who gave us things. We weren’t told something didn’t exist or any of that kind of stuff. It just wasn’t really much of a conversation in our house, to be honest. But that’s kind of the background that I come from.

And I remember one Christmas, one of my best ever, ever Christmases, was at my sister, Gay’s house. It was a wonderful Christmas. I think it was Christmas 2005. I’d come back from living in Spain, with my eldest son. And it was the beginning of the end of my marriage, my very short first marriage. And I remember that Christmas, 2005, being with my sister and my family. And just being surrounded by love. And saying, you know, people were asking me, “Oh, what do you want for Christmas?” And I was like, “I don’t want anything. I just want to be around my family. I just want to be around people who love me.” And to this day, it’s one of the best Christmases. Probably THE best Christmas I’ve ever had in my life. If not the best Christmas, it’s definitely a standout Christmas for me. The following year, I think I was a lot more, I was a lot more affluent, I’d resettled back into England and was, I had gotten myself a good program office contract. And I think everybody got what they wanted. You know, there’s a long list and I remember all the children sort of tearing the wrapping paper off of their gifts and saying, “Yeah!” And then moving swiftly on to the next gift, tearing the wrapping paper off and then go, “Yeah!” Then moving swiftly on to the next gift.

And we kind of decided as a family after that, that that, you know, it would probably be better if we just got the children one or two bigger items, rather than lots and lots of gifts. They forget who even got it for them or that they even really wanted it. And sometimes the gifts were just guesswork. So, we’re quite specific in our family. We do gift lists, so that the children, and, the children only get what they want. We don’t really give the adults gifts as such, might give my mom a present from the children.

But, um, yeah, so that’s kind of how we do Christmas in our home. And it’s, we don’t forget what the origins of the Christmas festival are all about. We don’t forget the religious aspect. But for us, I think the focus is mainly to do with, you know, togetherness and love of the season, and the gift of one another. And that has remained true throughout, certainly my adult life and, and, and actually, yeah, my, my childhood as well, although, yeah, I’m not gonna lie. I looked forward to the presents. Wanted loads of them, just wasn’t necessarily going to get lots of presents. So we really appreciated the, the gifts that we got.

So in terms of gifts that you might think of giving to your, your loved ones, you know, we could think about our love languages, that’s something to consider. Everyone’s love language is different. And, you know, what one might find is the best gift will vary from one person to another. But spending time with your loved one, cooking, decorating, making crafts, playing games, watching Christmas movies, doing a dance party…

My youngest son, he’s gotten into, is it called “Just Dance”? And we found that we can find “Just Dance” on YouTube. Might get him a “Just Dance” game. Might not. We’ll see how that goes. But I’m really looking forward to dancing with Elijah. And I’m also looking forward to playing games. So I’m front loading a lot of my work, I’m telling you now. I’m batching my podcasts because I’m keeping it real. I did say, I’m keeping this podcast real. I am batching my podcast episodes, specifically, so that I can focus over this season, more on spending quality time with my little boy, my youngest son, and my mom. Because we are sort of in a kind of semi lockdown.

My mother is in our bubble, but my grandchildren are not. So we’re gonna have to do some FaceTime or something like that to make sure that we have remained connected. But I might make crafts with Elijah. Definitely cooking. We’ve already decorated the tree. And that was great fun. And that’s something that we do together every year.

Acts of service. Might be something that you might want to do. Let them do their chores, and then let them rest, the festive season. Take a task off of their hands and do it for them instead. Make them breakfast in bed.

Oh. You know what? I really, I should make my husband breakfast in bed. He’s just such a wonderful husband and at the drop of a hat, he’ll cook for me. He’s just great like that. And yeah, I know that I need to do something really kind for Peter. It might be a foot bath and, and a foot massage or something or a full body massage for him, because he works so hard. And even just giving them a day off from everyone and everything. I might give him a spa treatment here at home. And in our bathroom, put some candles in the room, in the bathroom for him. Yes, he could go for candles, he’s cool like that. And even you know, give him a massage after that. He would probably want to watch basketball or [Laughs], not the sort of thing I would want to watch. But you know, hey, each to their own. And I think he’s watching a TV show at the moment on Netflix. So he might even want to do that in the bathroom, and I can facilitate that for him.

And that brings us on to touch. I’ve mentioned a little bit about massage. My youngest son loves massage too. So even giving my husband or my son massages, hugs and kisses, where, we are a very affectionate bunch. I have to say we are affectionate, irrespective of the season. All of us, most of us, I should say. I have three very affectionate sons. And one son who is affectionate but not quite as affectionate as the other three, and that’s year round. So I know that I could hug and kiss and hug and kiss and hug and kiss three of my sons without them thinking, “Right. Okay. That’s enough now.” And one of them, yes, there’s a time to quit. [Laughs]

There’s definitely a time to quit. Luckily, my husband, yeah, he’s, he’s very, very affectionate. The poor man, I don’t leave him alone. He gets tickled in his neck and everything. And I’m very fortunate in that, I can be as affectionate as I like, with my husband. And he doesn’t, you know, say, “Will you get off!” Luckily, luckily, luckily. I am very fortunate in that he just laps it up, he really likes it.

Words of affirmation. They’re a good option as a gift for a loved one. You know, you can engrave jewelry or a watch. You can write a heartfelt letter. You could create a book of various letters for them, for each season, from you, personally.

And there’s, there’s the gifts as well. The usual. Whatever the person has wanted for the longest time. And you could also, if money is an issue, or if you just don’t, you’re not really buying into the commercialism of Christmas, which we don’t really go in for the whole commercial thing. As I’ve said, for us, it’s more about love and family, spending quality time together. If you’re of a similar mindset, you might want to get one or two pricey gifts, that all of the family members chip in. And that’s what, we’ve done that for years.

So, for example, my youngest son is going to get a Nintendo Switch. I can’t remember how much it costs. But I know it’s quite pricey. I can’t remember. Not because I don’t care about money, but because my husband has paid for it already. And bought it. So it’s here. We just need to wrap it for him. Elijah keeps saying, “How comes there’s no gifts under the tree?” Well, I can’t tell him it’s because I haven’t bothered to wrap it yet. [Laughs] But that’s actually the truth of the matter.

And, but yeah, my family, we’re all chipping in for that. Because our, our thing is, if you’re getting an expensive gift, you should have to make that do, and make that stretch, and really enjoy it. Because it costs a lot of money. We like our younger ones to know the value of money. I think it just puts them in a good position, to respect money, and to make money work for them. Get them in the mindset of making money work for them, rather than them working for money. That’s what we’re trying to teach the children in our family. And so far, that’s working very well. None of our sons are particularly, they’re not particularly materialistic. And it’s the same for my sister’s children. They’re not particularly materialistic. And I think that has a lot to do with the fact that they have an understanding of the value of money. Not in its entirety, because you know, that, they’re still young people. But to, you know, to a greater extent.

Yeah, you can talk about safety. The year that has been, you know, we can talk about it in reflection, we can create a safe space for our loved ones this season. Considering what this year has been so far. Some of us have harrowing tales to tell. Some of us, we’re able to look at the year with some stoicism and resilience, and talk about safety being the gift that they need and how they can remain safe. And how they can keep themselves safe. But you know, put that conversation in a context that is not scary or alarming, but rather a message of safety and resilience. So we don’t want to build up anxiety levels, we want to keep anxiety levels as low as possible. But whilst keeping things real. And you know, your loved ones. So, I’m sure you’ll be able to word that in a way that makes them feel safe.

So, for example, with my family, I’m making it clear that I am coming to see my mother, after protecting, working hard to protect our bubble. And that her health and safety is paramount to us as a family.

Giving gifts to the less fortunate. Yeah. We’ve got, there’s a friend of mine who won a raffle, a really nice gift. My friend Natalie, shout out to Natalie. She won a fantastic beautiful gift set from RJC dance, here in Leeds. And she said, “Just please donate it for me.” Natalie lives in London. She won, she won it from an organization, where we’re both born and raised, here in Leeds. And so, we, we’ve collected that raffle box. And for Natalie, we are donating that that is a gift from Natalie. And my family business, The Gooding Funeral Services, we thought that was such a lovely thing that Natalie’s done, we’ve decided to do a little hamper or something to give away as well. Just because giving at a time like this, well, I think that, I think that’s really in keeping with the season, isn’t it?

We can talk about love and togetherness as a family. But some people are not surrounded by love. Some people are not fortunate enough to receive gifts or give gifts. And some people don’t have anyone to spend Christmas with. And I think it’s really valuable to spare them a thought, at this time of year. So, you could buy some groceries, for people that you know have been struggling financially. You can spend time with a friend or relative, whose loved one has passed away this year. And that might just be a social distancing visit, you know, you can, you can stay a distance from them. But make it nice, you know. Take mulled wine. And they have their mulled wine, you’ve got your mulled wine and you sit down in their driveway, all nice and toasty and you know, have a chat with them. You can do a Zoom call, if you’re not going to be braving the weather. Certainly in the UK at the moment, it’s, the weather is not, it’s not conducive to sitting outside in the cold. But, you know, if you’re living somewhere a lot warmer, that could be a nice option for you and a loved one who is bereaved, or who is struggling with health challenges. It might just be nice for you to either spend time with them if they’re in your bubble, or, you know, go online and have a Zoom call or FaceTime or Facebook Messenger call with them.

Or you could give them a WhatsApp call, you know, whichever way that you can stay connected to people who are not surrounded by loved ones and who don’t have that connection. There’s also the orphans, widows, people again, who have struggled with health challenges. There are, there are people, there’s always somebody less fortunate than you. I remember being taught that when I was a child, there are always people less fortunate than you. And I know for some of you, you might find that hard to believe. But yeah, if you just watch the news, and I don’t watch the news, too, too often, I’ll be honest, you’ll just see what’s going on in the world. There’s lots of positive things, but there are negative things as well. And you know, all sorts of things that I could go into, but no, I’m sure I can leave that to your imagination.

In conclusion, I would just like to say, with all this said, it’s, it’s not bad to give the usual gifts. I’m definitely giving some gifts this Christmas. We, as I’ve said before, we just really give gifts to the children at Christmas time. The adults get gifts on their birthdays, and if they’ve got special occasions. I’ve mentioned before that I’m really bad with cards. So yeah, if you get a Christmas card from me, you’re really lucky. You’re in the minority. I don’t know. [Laughs] I’m not really that good with sending cards. But these are just a few ideas to help you think outside of the box. To help you think of something that’s a little bit different, but may be in keeping with your core values.

And talking about core values, that brings me smoothly onto something that I wanted to say, that’s coming up for Mother of Abundance. So I’m really excited about the new year. Because early in the new year, I’m going to bring something to fruition that I’ve been thinking about for a really long time. And I wanted to give a kind of gift or a gift opportunity for, for anybody really who’s interested.

I have been thinking for a long time about creating a very special course. So for those of you who do not know, I am an Executive Coach. My area of passion is ambitious loving mothers, and I am a business owner. I own a bricks and mortar business. So I, I do business coaching. I do coaching about motherhood, I do coaching about, you know, the challenges of balancing a home and looking after children and, you know, partners and also, you know, trying to have ambitions, which may be outside of the home, maybe inside of the home. But for a long time, I’ve been wanting to create a course, that focuses on ambitious loving mothers. And specifically helps you to live your best life, but also helps you to live your legacy.

So, yeah, you know, that I’ve got my bricks and mortar business is a funeral parlor, right? So I am sure I’m the only master coach who’s also a funeral director. If there are any more, [Laughs] please, please let me know, because we would be a very small group, indeed. I am sure of it. But part of my passion is ensuring and helping people to live their life to the full. A life with no regrets. And certainly my thing is that I’m not waiting until I die, before leaving my best for my children. For me, I’ve got to give them the very best while I’m alive. So I want to see how they spend the money I give to them. I’m not willing it all to them. I want to see how they will manage the money whilst I’m alive. I want to give them my, my snippets of wisdom, while I’m here. I want to show them too, how to live their best possible lives.

And I want to, my idea, my idea is to enable ambitious loving mothers not too dissimilar to me, enable them to be able to do the same. Now, if that sounds interesting to you, then you know what, drop me an email at hello@motherofabundance.com. That’s hello@motherofabundance.com. And tell me that you’re interested, because if you are, the opportunity that I give to you is that you would be a founding member of that course. I call it a course; it’s actually going to be an academy. That’s kind of what I’m thinking of. So you would be a founding member, which for you would mean, you would have access to that course for half price. You would also have lifetime access to the Academy.

So, sounds good? Sounds like the sort of thing that you’d be interested in? Learning how to live your very best life with input from a master coach who is an ambitious loving mother herself, and is also a mentor, as well as an executive coach. And yeah, if that, if that sounds interesting to you, then get in now, because I’m telling you, the price will never ever be this low again. Nor will anybody who enters when the purchase gates open early next year. They won’t be able to have lifetime access to upgrades either. So you can get in while it’s hot. And give that to yourself as a gift. And let that be part of your leaving legacy for your loved ones; your children, your husbands, partners, cousins, parents, whatever. Let you live in your very best life. Be your gift to others, as well.

Okay, well, that’s it from me, for now. Have an abundant day and an abundant week.

Thank you for listening to the Mother of Abundance podcast. Your host, Xina Gooding Broderick. Sign up at motherofabundance.com, for your free copy of the “Planning Your Best Life and Living It Every Day” Workbook. See you on the next episode.