I know you may not want to hear this but the truth is, in business and in life, failure is bound to be a part of it. Even though this may be a hard and uncomfortable pill to swallow, we can’t run away from failure. No matter how many calendars we have, apps we use, specialists we consult, classes we take, plan Bs we have…etc., we will always come across it one way or another. But we can modify the way we approach these metaphorical stepping stones and transform them to our advantage. Read on to find out more about failing forward.
Transcript
Hello, and welcome to Mother of Abundance – the place where ambitious, caring mothers find information on how to live your best life. So whether you’re a mother who’s growing a business, climbing the corporate ladder, studying for a qualification, or an at-home mother, while striving to be the best you can be, you’re in the right place. I’m your host, Xina Gooding Broderick.
Hi! I’m so happy that you are here. Welcome to Season 3, Episode 4. I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. Can you believe it’s a new month? It’s April! Oh my goodness. Do you know what, I love it when the seasons start to change.
I love this time of year. In my home, we’ve got a little bit of stained glass in our windows, and it comes through, the sunlight comes through at a beautiful angle at this time of year, in the warmer months. And it starts at this time of year, in April. I start to see the stained glass light imprinted off one of my interior walls and it’s just such a beautiful time of year. I love when the blossoms are out on the trees. I go out to walk more.
Exercising is not an effort. Well, my yoga isn’t an effort, because I tend to do yoga, by candlelight, at night, as part of my wind-down whilst listening to an audiobook, with my little boy. So he’s allowed in our bed as part of our wind down. So he’s listening to the audiobook, I’m doing my yoga, the lights are dimmed in the room. At the end of my yoga and story reading session, with his goodnight kisses, and off he goes to his own bed. And that’s me for the night. [Sighs] So I do get my exercise in. But what I’m saying is, this is the time of year that I come out of hibernation, because I do hibernate. Believe me, when it’s cold, I am not coming outside. [Laughs] If I can help it. I don’t want to go outside in the cold. I’m not that hardy type. I’m really not. But this time of year, I can walk and walk and walk and walk.
We’ve got a few beautiful parks here in Leeds, in West Yorkshire, in the UK. And one of my favorite parks to walk in is Roundhay Park. It’s towards the north of Leeds. It is such a beautiful park. And we’ve got a lake in there. I think we’ve got two lakes actually. But they tend to have you know, waterfowl on there, like swans and ducks and sometimes geese. And it’s clean. There are dog walkers there that are respectful dog walkers because I don’t blame dogs. I blame dog walkers when there’s a lot of fouling. But this park, Roundhay Park, is lovely and clean. And just nice. And people smile at each other and stuff. They won’t bother you. They won’t try and stop you when you’re in your flow when you’re running and all the rest of it, or walking fast or whatever. But nice smiles and “good mornings” and “good afternoons”. It’s just really nice.
And this is the time of year that that happens for me. So you might be thinking of getting fitter or outdoors more or whatever. And maybe you’re thinking about having new habits that you’ve had before and you’ve not done it very well. Or maybe you’re into a new project, because it’s that time of year isn’t it? We do that in January and then we do it again in the springtime, almost like spring cleaning our homes, removing clutter, to start fresh and new, on something that we’ve been thinking about doing or continuing doing something, with a new lease of spring-like life.
I mentioned in last week’s episode that the previous week had been quite tough for me. And that’s why I wasn’t able to get a podcast episode out on the 22nd. I think it was the 22nd. I got my dates confused, but yeah, 22nd. I didn’t manage to get an episode out on the 22nd. And that was because you know, things were getting a bit hectic. And my son’s bubble burst at school. Then he had to come home again. And then I was focusing on my studying and all the rest of it.
There’s something really important to note when you’re striving to do something. And this is so important. And it’s often overlooked, that I really wanted to do an episode about it. And it’s about failure. More importantly, failing forward. I don’t think we’re taught very well about failure. We’re taught about things like practice makes perfect. We kind of understand that. But that mindset can bring its own unhealthy perspectives, striving for perfection, rather than striving for progress. Being a perfectionist is not necessarily the best way to go. Particularly if it just makes you stressed out and unhappy.
No, I’m talking about failure being there as a mechanism to help you move forward. And I know you might not want to hear this, but the truth is, in business, and in life, failure is bound to be part of it. Even though it might be hard and an uncomfortable pill to swallow, we can’t run away from failure. It’s part of the process. So no matter how many calendars we’ve got, or apps we use, or specialists we consult, classes we take, or whatever, we’ll always come across failure in one way or another. But we can modify the way we approach these metaphorical stepping stones, and transform them to our advantage. Now, that is what I’m talking about.
What is Failing Forward?
So what is failing forward? It means to purposefully and deliberately use failure to find success. It’s a conscious process that requires us to give up the obsessive need to be perfect. The basis of failing forward is to get better at mitigating risk and at the same time not holding ourselves back.
So if you’re doing a course or something, and you submit it to your supervisor, and they send it back to you, and they say, “Well, this is wrong.” What I’m talking about is saying, “Great! Now I know how to do this right.” Rather than saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m rubbish at this course. I shouldn’t have done it. This is not what I’m supposed to do.” And I have been guilty of doing this in the past. And it has held me back, I kid you not. I felt like a failure. And it took me ages to get back on the horse. If that happens to you, get on the horse as quickly as you can, and use that as guidance, use it to fail forward, use it to help you move forward, more speedily.
Tips for Failing Forward
There are some tips for failing forward. Have no regrets. So if you get something back that you’re working on and you get a few errors, remember, it’s just part of the process. You need to have something first of all, in order to perfect it. You can’t perfect nothing. So if somebody gives you something or you create something and you’re working on it, and you see an error, just have no regrets about that error. Say to yourself, “Right. Well, now I know what doesn’t work. I can focus on what does work.”
Do not point fingers. If there are any failures or whatever, there’s no point really in pointing fingers. I’m not talking about major, like real catastrophes or anything like that. I’m talking about just processes that you’re working on, particularly new processes. Be mindful not to point fingers and a lot of blame, because that will not help you to refine your process. Helping you to refine your process is working out what went wrong, and what you could do better.
And that is part of accepting reality, which is my next tip for failing forward. See the failure as temporary. Set realistic expectations. So I’m saying that a realistic expectation is to know that failure is part of the process. Failure is actually an acceptable, understandable, and realistic part of the process.
Focus on strengths. Remember what I said, if something goes wrong, then you know, well that doesn’t work. That’s great. Let’s figure out what does work. That needs to remain your focus.
Vary your approaches to achievement. So as you’re going along, you can tweak. I’m saying tweak. I’m not saying run off down the rabbit hole and get lost down some other path. I’m talking about tweaking and keeping your vision on track. Okay.
And the very last tip that I have for you is to bounce back. You must bounce back. Don’t wallow if something goes wrong. Do not wallow if something goes wrong. And I say this, and I’m laughing because I’ve done it. I’ve done it in the past. I’ve done it. But I’ve never done it and it’s helped me. Wallowing has never really helped me. I cannot remember when wallowing has helped me. I’m not talking about grief when I have lost something significant. That’s different. That’s very, very different. When I’ve made a failure, when I’ve made a mistake, whilst trying to do something, wallowing has never helped. Thinking strategically has helped. Working out what went wrong and what can go right. That can help.
Want To Know More About Failing Forward?
If you want to know more about failing forward, then I am telling you that one of the principles in Your Best Life Academy, is about failing forward and resilience. Because we know that you are busy. We know that you are looking after your children. We know that you are potentially looking after your teams, in the workspace. Or you’re working with stakeholders in your business. Either way, you will be going through processes continuously. So in the academy, you will be taught how to fail forward. And this builds resilience because life is going to happen. Life is going to happen, whether you start a new project or not. So failing forward, and resilience needs to be part of that knowledge and understanding.
And at the moment, we are accepting founding members to Your Best Life Academy for ambitious, loving mothers. If you get in now, then you will receive lifetime access to the academy, which is all future upgrades, as it improves, as the years go by. For the life of this academy, you will have access and you will pay half price. I think that’s kind of good actually. I do. So far, so good.
I am really pleased to hear the feedback from the people who have had more information and have received the course curriculum and have reserved their place on the academy. If that sounds like you, or if you want to speak to HR in your workplace, if you’re in corporate, then speak to them because there is an individual’s fee and there is a corporate fee. So self-funded people will get it for less. But at the moment, corporates are able to get it for half the price, for an individual. So speak to HR or speak to me directly. You can DM me directly on my socials. Oh, or you can email me at hello@motherofabundance.com.
In the meantime, can you please tell me when you have failed forward? Have you ever heard of failing forward? Do you do it? Or do you wallow? I won’t judge you. I won’t you if you wallow, but do you wallow? I have been known to do that in the past. But like I said, it does not work for me and I’m sticking with what works now. And failing forward is working for me.
There’s a great book that I would like to recommend to you called Black Box Thinking. I love that book. And it outlines a lot about failing forward. You might find that to be an interesting book because I know you’re ambitious and you’re into lifelong learning and all the rest of it. And this might make your planning and your projects way easier to bear, particularly if you’ve got a bit of a perfectionist streak. Okay.
So I look forward to hearing from you. And that’s it from me for now. Have an abundant day and an abundant week.
The Mother of Abundance Podcast is brought to you by Your Best Life Academy for Ambitious, Loving Mothers. A 10-week coaching program, which will give you the tools, habits, and strategies to ditch overwhelm, overcome maternal guilt and be more present for your family.
References:
Fail Forward – The Key to Success
