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PocketCastsLinks discussed in the podcast:
Planning Your Best Life & Living It Every Day Workbook: https://motherofabundance.com/
Productivity Hacks for Ambitious Mothers in paperback and on Kindle
Mother of Abundance Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/motherofabundance
Transcript
Hi Everyone, I hope you are all well and happy.
Well, this one is about work-life balance for ambitious mothers, when I speak to ambitious mothers no matter where they are, or what they’re doing, their number one challenge is work-life balance. They might not put it in so many words, they might say something like
“Balancing working hard while spending time with my kids”. Or “When I finally have free time, I don’t know whether to work or rest”, or they might say, “Balancing going after my dreams and showing my kids ‘your dreams are worth fighting or working hard for’ versus time just hanging out with my kids”.
Someone actually said to me, “My biggest challenge is my six-year-old son getting in the way of my world domination every time he asks for a snack, I mean, rude.!” Another lady said that her biggest challenge was “Feeling like I can’t successfully by my measurement, achieve both a successful business and be a present parent and give my children the time attention their need.”
However it’s put, it boils down to the same thing, and that’s work-life balance.
I want to really dig deep into work-life balance, what it sounds like, and what it actually is. Then I want to discuss ways in which you can actually make time work for you and your family in a far less stressful way.
Firstly, what is “work-life balance” or even “balance” in real terms? Well take and literally balance requires something to have the same distribution of weight in order to remain steady. In the context of work-life balance it’s less about weight and more about appropriate proportions for the task at hand. The reason I find most ambitious mothers get frustrated and exhausted by trying to do this balancing act is because we’re raised and trained to make first of all school tasks and then later work tasks a priority. We’re given timetables in school and tasks list at work. There’s no one we need to answer to for our home tasks apart from ourselves. And it’s the same for business owners in the main anywhere. So how do we address this conundrum in a way that gives us a feeling of relief instead of a feeling of guilt? And the answer is so simple that some of you may find it hard to believe, but I challenge you to try it and give me some feedback.
Okay, so let’s address this in order of priority. There tends to be more frustration about the time spent with loved ones, children in particular, but it can also include husbands partners, friends, other family members. So let’s deal with a home life relationships and how balance can be done there.
Have you got your pen and paper ready? If you haven’t, don’t worry, just check out the show notes. I’ll have full transcript sorted for you guys. So not to worry if you’ve not got a pen and paper handy.
Number one, write a list of your favourite activities.
Number two, get your loved ones to write a list of favourite activities. If they’re too young to write, just ask them what their favourite things to do are, and write it for them. If they’re too young to vocalise that you’re already winning because you just pick what you’d like to do with them.
Number three, find out what the overlaps are. What do you have in common that you both enjoy?
Number four, and here’s the magic. Spend a minimum of 10 minutes each day with that person doing something that you both enjoy. And here’s a special note. It includes just talking about the thing you enjoy. I kid you not speaking about something you both enjoy just 10 minutes Each day can bring you closer in ways that you’ve never imagined. Try to do it in a way that you can maintain eye contact if possible, or just do an activity together for the 10 minutes that you both enjoy.
Don’t be on your phone or other gadgets for this conversation, unless it’s something that you’re purposefully doing together. So for example, I might watch an episode of Steven Universe with my son, Elijah. We both love it and find it entertaining. What I won’t be doing with Elijah anytime soon is playing a game with him on his iPad. I’m not a gamer and I cannot think of anything more boring to do than try and figure out one of his games. That’s just not something that would be on my list of things that I enjoy doing.
The idea is to make this as easy for you both as possible. When we’re on our way to school, we can talk about amongst other shared interests our favourite Steven Universe characters, why we like them, funny things that they’ve done, etc. The conversation flows because it’s a mutual enjoyment. Other things we might do is bake together, he might not be there for the entire process, and that’s fine. I let him go when he’s not enough. And we like doing things together like the measurements and he gets to have one end of the banana bread when it’s baked. And I get to have the other end of the banana bread when it’s baked because for both of us, our favourite part of the banana bread loaf is the end. The chunky end, I add: The chunky big thick slice at the end.
So think about things you both like to do and have that contact for 10 minutes each day a minimum of 10 minutes each day, and I guarantee it will amplify your connection and that’s what creates the balance you’re looking for.
I read this tip when I was a new mother, oh gosh like 22, 23 years ago, when my eldest son was a few years old. And I thought, oh, that’ll never work; that’s not enough time. But the way that it was described it was talking about fully engaging with that person and really connecting with them.
Just 10 minutes of being fully engaged on a topic you both enjoy works wonders. I urge you to try it and please let me know how you get on.
The second area is in career, business or studies. A lot of ambitious mothers are lifelong learners and do continuing professional development or CPD. So I always try to factor in study where possible because that can add confusion and frustration and added stress to the work-life balance. So I try to make sure I factor that in as well.
So number one: Have a plan that factors in rest periods, healthy meals, and exercise. So remember, this is a holistic plan. So I’m not talking about trying to, I don’t know, exercise like 10 o’clock when you’re supposed to be in a meeting or fall asleep and have a nap at three o’clock at your desk. Look at your whole day. Make sure that you work out how you’re going to have your rest periods, your healthy meals and your exercise.
This was all done for you. When you were at school, you would have playtime, you’d have lunchtime and you’d have PE – now you have to do it for yourself to remain as vibrant as you were when you were a child.
Number two, work out how you can become more productive in your work. Not so that you can work more but so that you can work smart and not be overwhelmed. So you get to finished your work. tasks, and still have some time to daydream and think about the things ahead and plan and be creative in your thought processes.
Number three, stick to the plan, at least for I don’t know, a week or two.
Number four, review the plan. Make sure it’s working for you, rather than you working for it. And that’s it!
Now, I am well aware that there will be times in your personal and private life where you will have to work harder, and in a more pressured way, than would like more stressful where we know that this can be unavoidable due to important products with big deadlines. ill health, causing a knock-on effect on a role or a task or even a pandemic, shifting your tasks further to the right on your timeline.
This is an opportunity when you find yourself in this sort of situation it’s an opportunity to give yourself a deadline, so you’re not working in that, you know, hectic, stressful, full-on way. What you don’t want to do is make this your indefinite way of working, there must be a balance still. So if you’re ramping up your work period, you’ll need to do the same for your rest periods. Get up earlier and meditate. Listen to music on your way into the office instead of listening to instructional material, you will have to find rest or intense periods of peace. If you have an intense period of work, you’ll have to slot that in.
To get the most out of your work and the most out of your body, you will still need to factor in the rest the healthy meal and the exercise. Building in these factors will mean that your hefty workload will be over sooner rather than later because you’ll be giving your brain and your body what it needs to remain efficient whilst under pressured situations.
So that’s my tuppence worth on work-life balance. make memories with your loved ones, make it as easy for yourself and for them as you can by having something you mutually enjoy. Create a plan for your work, business and/or studies. Failing to plan is planning to fail. And that’s a very old book true saying that has never been more relevant than in these current pressured times.
So with that said, I’ve got three resources are really helpful because they were all created especially for ambitious mothers to deal with this number one challenge and a few other challenges too.
The first resource is the Plan Your Best Life & Live It Every Day Workbook, which is available for free at the motherofabundance.com. So nip over there and you’ll see links to it all over the website, even on the homepage to the right of the blog and podcast posts at the top of the site as you click the page, I’ve tried to make it as easy to find as possible because I want as many ambitious mothers to find it as possible, I really do.
The second tool is my Productivity Hacks For Ambitious Mother’s book, which is available to purchase on Kindle and Amazon. And I’ve put a link in the show notes for that too. So it’s a small handy book that’s good for your handbag, your nappy bag or your briefcase.
The third resource is the Mother of Abundance free Facebook group is a safe space where ambitious mothers just like you can take a holistic approach to moving forward in your ambitions. We put family life and self-care front and centre for you. So you have that as a solid foundation for your ambitions.
That’s it from me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on work-life balance, how you make it work for you. And I’m well aware that this won’t work for everyone. I welcome thoughts on where this wouldn’t be practical too, so that we can work on better solutions in those scenarios.
There’s a link to the blog in whichever podcast player you’re using, which will take you to a full transcript of this episode and you can also leave your comments there too. I look forward to hearing from you.
So until next time, have an abundant day and an abundant week.
How do you manage your projects and tasks? How do you manage your expectations? Do you use any of these tips? Do you have other tips that you’d like to recommend? I’d love to read your tips, comments and feedback below!
